Discuss: The Most Radical Thing You Can Do

i stay home. a lot. and i feel guilty. i love to be home, but i know i am SUPPOSED to be out and about. busy. buying things. but i hate most things. and most things i need i have. i am content and i feel guilty.
and lonely. like a throwback to a quieter time. what about the inner space? and being present in the space we’re in? enjoying the world within walking distance? i’ve never traveled and i feel guilty that i don’t really want to. at least not at the current cost,  and i mean that in many ways. what if we all just got real quiet for a real long time? peaceful and kind and stopped shopping as sport and started talking, but more important started listening? and maybe singing? a few crazy folks might even dance. what would happen then? what could possibly happen then? maybe no seven billion dollar bailout would be necessary. what if we were just happy with what we had?

When people find out that I haven’t owned a car in over two years, they sometimes react strangely, and strongly, with shock, pity, guilt, condescension, or snide remarks that imply I’m irresponsible, a mooch, in the depths of poverty, or not quite a grown up. (I’m 34 and have a professional job.) I think it must feel threatening to them in some way. For me, it’s been liberating: I feel like I’m discovering the back side of the world, where traveling to the next town takes effort, allowing me to see all the places in between here and there. I’ve found there’s profound adventure in traveling slowly, by bicycle and bus, to places that are not very far away. I stay home sometimes, when I’m too tired to bicycle or the distance is too far to accomplish in the time I have available, and I very rarely regret any event I’ve missed because I wasn’t able to jump into a car and rush off to attend it. In fact, I feel more rested and happy when I allow my transportation choices to restrict my activities: I get more out of the places that I do go. And I’m still too busy: there’s so much to do and see in the world. My carfreeness is teaching me to be more carefree: to stay home more and play quietly….thank you for this reminder.

My husband and I just had a baby so I stay home a lot with him. We walk downtown or in nearby towns every day and have short visits with friends-within-walking distance on our evening walk each night. We stay home and play too or go to friend’s homes or parks and play. I have given up many activities I would normally do, (including a lot of freelance working) especially activities in the evening because I like to give the baby a routine. I now do the same thing every day with variance within the basic structure. Sometimes it seems boring, and sometimes I wish I could go out or travel like before. But when I really feel how I am feeling, it isn’t boring. It is rhythmic. Like life’s heartbeat. What feels sad is actually when others rush past and are not in this rhythm. And I find that more people ARE in this rhythm than you might imagine in a fast society like ours: the old men who hang out in front of the cafe; the kids walking by who say “Look, a baby!”; some other mothers who stroll with us, the older ladies where my grandmother lives, and my grandmother who might even say “Is this my baby?”; and the random person working in the store, the cafe or walking on the street. You just never know who will be stopped by the sight of a baby to be happy in the moment, which is after all what staying home is all about.

Staying at home does not signify detachment. If anything, it affords one the opportunity for careful focus, clear thinking, and attentive wakefulness.

The distractions of over committing, external scheduling,  attention- robbing media, the discontinuous modalities of modern life can be stress inducing minimally, and a buzz-kill mostly.

Stay at home, and own your life, consciousness and awake mind.

Thanks for this great article. Let’s just be careful when we talk about staying home that we don’t forget the privilege and the pleasure (and the incredible value!) of being part of a global community. It’s not just globalization - it’s also an opportunity for cultural exchange.

Does anyone out there know the citation for the Gary Snyder quote? I’ve been searching for it for months. Thanks.

It is wonderful to be able to stay home. Home helps one regroup and focus on self. When we care for ourselves we are better equipped to care for others. I stay home when I need to recharge. Most important our family has made a choice to live in the city. We can bike, walk, or take public transportation to anyplace we need to go. It was the best choice I have ever made. Our community garden has been productive this season! Trading has replaced some transactions in our lives. I feel much more connected to our world.

I am so grateful for this article which resonates so strongly for me, and all the comments. I am so grateful for my VW diesel Jetta, a marvel of engineering. I am so grateful that I can sell it next month. I am so grateful that I own a sweet little mountain bike and live in a community that has public transport. Staying home, and going out slowly, is a joy. For their sake and the Earth’s, hopefully soon more people will know this.

My grandfather came to the SF Bay Area because he could work at a living wage. He bought a small place with a storefront below. He rode his bicycle to the cinema where he was a union projectionist. He raised five children with my grandmother Andrea.
She ran the neighborhood grocery store. Then they purchased apartment buildings in the neighborhood. They extended credit to the neighbors, tenants and grocery customers from month to month. They all worked hard, and worked together. It was the depression.  When they died, the neighborhood held two observations, a memorial, and then named a school for them around the corner. Nothing like today’s world.
We have been here for 15 years and don’t know more than 10 of our neighbors. We couldn’t even agree about street trees.